we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
