We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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