i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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