You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
