I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
third nipple confirmed
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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