Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
