I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
