I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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