Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Mom said you looked used
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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