we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
