I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
