I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
