I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
