I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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