Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
