the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
