Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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