I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
