i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize