So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
