before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
