My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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