If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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