the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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