Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
