Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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