What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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