last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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