Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
