peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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