it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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