What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
