They should really pass out barf bags in church
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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