Do you still have your period?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
