Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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