im gay
i know
yea but for you.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
