I think my vagina is haunted
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
