If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
