I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
