Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
