I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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