All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
