Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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