No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
