I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
