I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
