i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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