Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
