"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I wish there were birth control emojis
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
