Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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