Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
