i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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